Most people take a temporary break from dating in their early days of sobriety, but there eventually comes a time when you might start to feel ready to meet new potential partners again. The best tips for dating in the sober community take what you already know about how to form healthy relationships and add on a few new strategies that make it possible to stay sober at the same time.
As you get started on meeting new people, remember to just relax and have fun. Dating isn’t as hard as you might think now that you’re sober, and you’ll find that having a clear mind makes it easier to get to know that new special someone.
If you ask people who have been in your sober community for a long time, you’ll likely hear them give you a few of these common dating tips for people who are in recovery.
- Always make sobriety a priority
- Give yourself time to fully get sober
- Look for people with similar values
- Be upfront about your boundaries
- Create a plan for handling potential triggers
- Remember to go slow and know when to let go
- Keep up your self-care strategies
The first tip is the most important. Your sobriety comes before all else because it simply isn’t possible to have healthy relationships when you are in the throes of an addiction. If you start to feel uncomfortable at any moment during a date or conflict, then you need to have an exit plan. A lot of people appoint a sober friend to call when they feel stressed while dating, and you can always cut a date short if they do something that threatens your sobriety such as ordering drinks to be brought to your table.
Fortunately, those types of events are rare. Being upfront about your sobriety and the boundaries that you have set for staying clean helps potential partners decide if they’re willing to be supportive. While you don’t necessarily have to tell someone about your addiction immediately after meeting them, it is best to at least let them know that you choose to avoid drugs and alcohol so that you don’t accidentally end up in a situation where substances are present. If you haven’t talked about your sobriety with a brand new match, then consider planning a date where you won’t have to worry about being tempted. Lots of great dates revolve around sober activities such as hiking, visiting a farmer’s market or taking your pups to the local dog park.
Discover How to Build Healthy Relationships In Sobriety
During your treatment for drugs or alcohol, you’ve probably done a lot of talking about your past relationships and how you manage conflicts. Now, you’ll be able to use what you’ve learned to do better in the dating game. Since you know yourself better, you should be able to define what you need in a potential partner. Ideally, you’ll also be able to look for matches in environments that suit your need for sobriety. Many people in the sober community find dates through the people they meet while doing wholesome activities such as volunteering or taking cooking classes. You can also let the members of your sober group know that you are ready to start dating.
Someone you know may very well have an idea of a great match for you, and the best part is that that person will already be familiar with what life in sobriety looks like. While you’ll hopefully find that dating is smooth sailing now that you’re sober, there’s always the possibility of hitting a few snags. Make sure that you don’t get so caught up in spending time with a new person that you start neglecting important parts of your after-care plan such as attending meetings. You’ll also want to be prepared for the potential stress that accompanies a breakup or even a date that goes bad. Being willing to talk to a counselor or sober mentor if you start to experience new triggers and cravings can help you avoid having your sobriety derailed as you navigate any new challenges that come up with dating.
Are you ready to make yourself a better potential partner for dating? We’ll help you make sure that you are fully ready to enter the dating game by getting sober. Call us today at 833-680-0165.